It's a good thing the notoriously minimal German sense of humor does not translate to its top-end accommodation. The 5-star hotels in Berlin are among the best and most reasonably priced anywhere in the world.
Low on Laughs
Okay, so the service staff isn't exactly stand-up comic material. Then again, why would you look for that in 5-star hotels in Berlin? You could get that in hotels anywhere in the world.
In fact this brings to me an interesting point about 5-star hotels in Berlin, or any other hotel for that matter. The more money you pay, the less you can expect in the form of witty repartee from the hotel staff. To me, this is disappointing. Hotels are about service, about enjoying the whole travel experience. Why else would they ask me to enjoy my stay here at the uniquely decorated Palace hotel in Berlin? Yet I fork out hundreds of extra dollars for an attractive, ornamented, exquisite, and opulent room, as well as free use of the thermal baths, sauna, and solarium, but have a thoroughly dour time!
Not even at the best of the 5-star hotels in Berlin, the Adlon Kempinski, can I get a laugh out of anyone except the janitors. Try as I might, I couldn't get a laugh out of anybody. I suppose it has something to do with the hotel's very serious, aristocratic history. I could use a heavy iron pinch bar, but even that in the hand of a 200-pound pro-wrestler would barely be sufficient to bend the corners of the staff's mouth into a little upward half-smirk. What do I have to do to get a laugh around here?
I sauntered up to the front desk of the Schlosshotel im Grunewald, one of the best 5-star hotels in Berlin. "You know where I can get a good laugh around here, pal?" I asked the receptionist.
"I beg your pardon, fraulein?"
"Your ad boasted of intimacy. That includes a good laugh, doesn't it?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, fraulein. You're after... what was that again? A good laugh? I will have to check with management, ja?"
Yes, even at the Schlosshotel im Grunewald, one of the swankiest 5-star hotels in Berlin, a laugh is as hard to find as plutonium.
Big on Quality, Even Bigger on Prices
Okay, so we've established that we won't exactly be staying at the comedy club or getting a laugh a minute. That's okay. After all, who would mind having to give up laughs in exchange for state-of-the-art amenities and round-the-clock pampering? The 5-star hotels in Berlin provide those. In fact, not only will 5-star hotels in Berlin make you feel like royalty, they will let you experience Germany's culture first-hand, too! One of the 5-star hotels in Berlin, the Swisshotel Berlin, even provides guests with the opportunity of viewing the original artworks of Markus Lupertz. His paintings adorn the walls of each of the hotel's room. Not only that, you get to dine like royalty too! The Swisshotel Berlin boasts of a menu designed by Anton Mosimann, the official chef of Britain's royal family.
Another good thing about the 5-star hotels in Berlin is that they are very reasonable. For example, you can get a room in any of the 5-star hotels in Berlin, like the Four Seasons Berlin which is right in the center of the city, for as low as 56 Euros a night! That's cheaper than paying rent! If you have money to burn, the Kempinski Hotel in Bristol puts you smack-dab within the money-burning district of Berlin, the Kurfurstendamm. You might not be getting any laughs, but at least you can buy shoes to your heart's content, whether you need them or not.
If it's a laugh you're after, stern, Spartan Germany isn't the country to go to. If you're after indulgence, however, 5-star hotels in Berlin are the places to go to.
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